Hearing Voices Is Never a Good Thing
by Yell the Punmeister
Summary: What would it be if Otose never went to the graveyard that day? What if the young samurai and the old lady never met? A multichapter fic.
1. Chapter 1

The snow was falling softly on his rugged yukata. With a small movement he pulled it tighter around his body. It was cold. If he continued sitting here, he'll freeze to death. Maybe that isn't so bad. People said that that is the most pleasant way to die. Soon, he will feel sleepy and won't feel anything. The graveyard will still be peaceful, but a lot greener. He will feel warm and cold.

Truth to be told, Sakata Gintoki didn't want to die here, but he was so tired. He barely ate anything for days; he just didn't have enough strength to move. Maybe someone would come to the graveyard and notice him. Maybe that someone would have food…

But there was no one. Gintoki sighed weekly, but still didn't make an effort to move. Ah well, it was a lousy life, it may as well end here.

"No, you still can't die here."

He jerked his head to see who was talking to him. No one was there. Too weak to show any concern for what just happened, he slowly began drifting into sleep again.

"No, you are weak. You don't protect. You destroy. You monster. I would say you should kill yourself, but that would be a mild punishment for what you've done. You should live. Yes, live. Live a wretched life, like you always did."

Half-asleep he tried to open his eyes, but the eyelids seemed so heavy.

"Shut up, I'll do what I want."

"Oh, no, you will not do what you want. You will do what I tell you, and that is to live. You don't deserve death. Monster… _Murderer…"_

Not conscious of his movements, the samurai stood up and slowly went towards the graveyard exit. By the time he reached the exit, the snow stopped. It was still cold, but now, that he was moving, it wasn't so bad. Once you decide your course of action, dying isn't anymore an option.

Once in the city, he noticed how empty everything is. Due to heavy snow, no one was in sight. People were all inside their houses, where it was warm and light. Where should he spend the night though? He'll think of that later. First, he has to find somewhere to eat.

His train of thought stopped when something collided with him and fell on the ground. Young man looked down only to see a small child sitting there. The child looked at him, on the verge of crying.

"I'm so sorry, mister, I was running, and I didn't see you there. So, sorry."

"It's okay. Watch next time where you're going."

The little girl nodded and turned around, but after a couple of steps, she stopped and slowly turned around.

"Aren't you cold?"

"Why would I be cold?"

"Because that clothes look cold."

"I am not cold."

"Do you live here?"

"No, I'm just passing."

"Oh…"

The girl was just staring at him, curiosity all over her face.

"Are you hungry?"

"… No…"

But his stomach gave him away. The child smiled a big grin and put a hand up in the air, as stopping him from moving.

"Wait here."

And then she ran away. Gintoki raised an eyebrow and started walking again. He didn't have time for child games. Maybe if things were different, but considering the things at hand…

"Hey, please, wait!"

He turned around and saw that same girl holding a package.

"I… I had some money… I… bought you this, mister. Once again… um… I am sorry I bumped into you…"

Before Gintoki could say anything, she ran away, apparently embarrassed by the whole thing. With no strength left, he picked up the box and was surprised to see it was still warm. She bought him some food. A rush of gratitude passed through his body and with a soft smile, he started looking for a place to sleep.

The sun set a while ago and it was getting darker and darker. Street lamps finally lit themselves. After passing the whole district and finding no place to sleep, Gintoki started considering making himself comfortable in some of the back alleys of the district.

"Hell, I should've stayed at the graveyard. Lot more quite there, isn't it? But hey, I got a free meal. It's a start…"

At the end of the district though, he found some old house. By the appearance it seemed as no one lived there. The whole building was about to collapse. Going by the logic that it won't collapse that night, if it didn't all these years, he entered.

It was cold, and no means to light a fire. There was also no furniture, except for an old broken chair. The windows were broken, too, and there was nothing to fill in the holes. The wind that will soon start to blow will make this one hell of an uncomfortable night. But it beats being in open on a night like this.

After inspecting the whole house, he found a corner that was far away from the windows, in the dark. That should keep him warm enough to grab some hours of sleep, and, in case someone else enters, they won't see him at first.

After he made himself as comfortable as he can, he opened the box. It was some rice and other food he didn't bother identifying. The warmth of couple of bites he took made him sick, so he abruptly stopped and considered putting the meal of for tomorrow. He had couple of bites; that should be enough for this evening.

Rustling noises and high pitched noises turned his attention away from his meal. Rats? No… Mice. A sigh of relief escaped him. It would be quite a problem if he'd have to spend the night on alert for rats. Nasty little creatures, they were. Realizing sleep on the floor was out of question he put the box in his lap and lowered his head. He was used to sleeping in a sitting position. The only thing missing was his sword. He looked sadly at his left shoulder. It was always there, and now it was taken from him. It feels so empty without it. Maybe it's better that way.

As he felt sleep finally taking over him, he glanced one last time at the box and remembered the little girl. Maybe this is why he lives, after all. There are still good people in this world. Maybe one of them needs protecting.


	2. Chapter 2

The sun has risen too early for Gintoki's liking. He rose from his position at the corner, carefully stretching his arms and legs. His muscles were stiff, and bones cracked with every movement. Even though he was used to sleeping in the sitting position, he couldn't say the same for getting up after spending hours like that. The box he placed was still intact, but, forgetting about it, he let it fall down on the floor. Cursing aloud, he bent over to pick it up, and fell. He was still weak and every change of position made his head spin. It was so irritating. In any case, he might as well try to finish at least half of the meal before continuing going. Where was he going, anyway? That was the thing he didn't know. A thought occurred to him while chewing on the rice. Countryside doesn't sound too bad. Yes, he will go to countryside, when the weather lets him. Winter is too cold for traveling, especially in the circumstances he was in. Maybe he could spend the winter here, and then, in spring, go somewhere nicer. Maybe he could even find a nice house, with a garden. He could even start a dojo. Well, that is a little too much. How about first seeing how the winter goes, and then think about later on?

When he finished his meal, or half of it, to be honest, he carefully wrapped the remains for later and put it somewhere safe, where mice won't reach it. Is there a place like that? He should find a cat. In any case, he should take a walk and see where he ended up last night. His memory of last night was foggy. Who knows, maybe he dreamt the city last night. Maybe he ended up in the wild. He opened the door, using some force. They froze overnight. It was still pretty cold outside. Wrapping his yukata tighter around himself, and making a mental note to find some blanket or something, he went for a walk.

It appeared that the city from last night wasn't just a dream and for that he thanked heaven. In cities was much easier to find food and other stuff that was needed, if you knew where to look. The part of the city he found a house was one of the poor ones. There were shabby houses everywhere, made of wood, but even an inexperienced eye could see, there were no repairs done on them. Though it was still early, there were people who were up and about their business. Some were throwing out buckets of water that were once snow that fell from the holes in the roof. One man was carrying a ladder, possibly to swipe the snow from the roof, to prevent it from collapsing. The streets were also full of snow. No one bothered to clean them over night. Making a small path, Gintoki continued walking. Right as he was about to exit this area, someone put a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey, buddy, this is our territory. You have to pay the fine."

The young man scanned his surroundings in an instant. Ground was covered in ice; he could feel it under his feet. There was also a garbage can nearby, and a metal bar was next to it. If he could only get his hands onto it before things get out of control…

"Heh, I don't see your name all over it. Why don't you just crawl back to whatever hole you got out, little shits? You're making me sick in the stomach and I just ate."

"Hey, you can't talk to us like that! Do you know who we are?"

Gintoki turned around and eyed them carefully. The man who placed the hand on him was tall and skinny. He held a tanto in his other hand. However, his stance told him that the guy pretty much never held a weapon in his life. The other guy was short and round, with a sneer on his face all the time. He was carrying a katana at his waist and twirling a straw in his right hand. These guys were so full of themselves. If Gintoki played his cards right there might even be no need for violence.

Trying not to burst into laughter, he made his most serious in the moment and looked the taller man, who was obviously the smarter one, in the eyes.

"I don't care who you are, and I won't even tell you who I am, but, look me in the eyes, and try to convince yourself I am not dangerous."

"Bro, I think… we should go away", said the shorter man.

"Nonsense. He's bluffing."

At this statement, Gintoki raised his eyebrow. Did they really think he was bluffing? He was cold and irritated. This was no time for petty games.

"Are you sure I'm bluffing?"

"Y-yeah! Of course you are. No way could a person looking like you beat up two of us! Now pay up!"

The taller man made a motion to grab his tanto, but he stopped abruptly when he felt the cold edge of a katana on his throat. His partner blinked a couple of moments but soon regained his composure long enough to grab his sword, which he, to his horror, realized it's no longer there.

"H-hey, that's mine!"

With an inhuman grin on his face, Gintoki turned to the shorter man.

"Sorry, but, the truth is… I don't see your name on it."

Fear spreading on his face, the unarmed man took couple of steps backwards, slipped on the ice and fell on the ground. After couple of tries, he finally stood up and ran away.

"He's a monster! He's gonna kill me! Help!"

Now that one so called threat has been dealt with, Gintoki turned to the man whom he still held with his newly acquired weapon by the throat. After couple of seconds, he lowered the sword and motioned to him in the direction his partner ran away.

"Go away. Remember though: next time you see me, I will not be so kind. This is your last warning."

The man nodded and started running away, but Gintoki called after him once more.

"Hey, shithead, you forgot something!"

Then he threw the sword on the ground and turned in the opposite direction where he was headed in the first place. The bandit, now with a tanto and a sword in his hands, stopped and considered to avenge his honor that has been dealt a devastating blow. This man was unarmed and turned his back to him. Now was the chance. Mustering all his courage the man gripped the katana tighter and charged.

The blow in the face he got knocked him out in an instant. The last thing he remembered was seeing this white haired man holding a metal bar he picked up from the bin, looking at him, his expression cold and composed. As the darkness embraced him, he heard him talking.

"I told you I would not be so kind."

Gintoki looked at the unconscious body and shook his head. Even though his body was worn off, that doesn't mean his instincts were dulled. A chuckle escaped him while he was walking. Boy, did he hit him hard. And that look of surprise when he felt the sharp blade by his throat…

The smile slowly faded from his face. Why did he do that? Why did he take the sword? That metal bar was available too. He could've just reached of it. He also knew plenty of ways to disarm someone without the use of excessive force. Was he so irritated and cold that his fuse was shorten in half? All he wanted was to walk in peace and take a look at the surroundings, and yet, he felt like he had a big target painted on his back. All the burglars always pick him. Even when he was with Katsura and Takasugi… Still, pulling a sword out was a little too much. They were so annoying that… He stopped in his tracks and looked down at his hands that suddenly started shaking.

_Was he intending to kill that man? Right at that moment, was he going for a kill?_

Overwhelmed by this sudden realization, the young man turned around and started walking fast back to his shelter. Back there, he closed the door and leaned on it, waiting for his breath to come back. Slowly, he slid down on the floor and put his hands on his head. He tried to justify his actions, telling himself it was just to scare them, but deep down, he knew there were plenty of other ways to do that. The thought of killing once more scared him. Even more, the fact that he wanted to kill a man for the sake of himself, and not for others, scared him more. Was he becoming a monster? A memory of previous night came back to him. Someone was whispering something to him. What was that? It wasn't nice, in any case. He closed his eyes and ears in an effort to stop the memory coming back. Taking deep breaths he managed to calm himself down. Slowly, he opened his eyes and saw a mouse in front of him. The sudden motion he made while noticing the mouse made the little creature run away back to where it came from.

He relaxed a little. The event was no big deal. In the end, there weren't any casualties, and that's all that matters for now. Gintoki leaned his head on the door and settled himself in the familiar stance he sat in since childhood. His hands unconsciously made their way to the sword on his left shoulder. However, when he looked at it, he realized that it wasn't a sword, but just the bar he picked up earlier. It seems that he picked it up by habit.

The sword leaning on his shoulder always gave him some sense of security. Since he was a child, he always found comfort in the knowledge that a weapon was near him. Today's kids would probably be horrified if they heard this, but to Sakata Gintoki, it was just another normal thing. Now that he thought about it, there wasn't a moment in his life that he could remember when a sword wasn't by his side; always fighting, always protecting, that was how his life was.

Finally, he stood up. It was time to finish what he started to do this morning in the first place. Two lame bandits shouldn't discourage him now. His life actually depended on him doing this particular task. He can't expect clothing and food to just magically appear in front of him. He must be a man and face the problem head on. His food and clothing problem, he reminded himself. What has just happened back there is going to some dark corner of his mind never to be touched again. Seeing that it was the second time exploring the neighborhood, he looked at his feet, deeply lost in his thoughts. He bumped into someone. Absent-mindedly apologizing, he continued on his way, when the person called out to him.

"Hey, I saw how you dealt with those two idiots."

Not even stopping in his track, Gintoki just waved his hand.

"Were they your friends? Sorry about that. They deserved it, you know."

"Would you like to scare people some more?"

This got his attention. As he turned around, he saw that the person he bumped into was actually a man in his thirties. A part of the tattoo, that was visible on his neck, which probably was on his whole shoulder too, the scar on his left cheek and the sword on his waist, told Gintoki everything. This man belonged to Yakuza. The man smiled and approached him.

"Ah… About those guys... They think that, just because they are in our gang now, they can do whatever they want. It's the usual problem with newbies, you know. Oh, yes, I still haven't introduced myself. My name is Hiroto, nice to meet you."

Hiroto waited for Gintoki to introduce himself, but the samurai just eyed him for couple of moments. As the silence stretched and Hiroto figured out Gintoki won't be telling him the name, he chuckled and put his hand into the kimono. Noticing how the other man instinctively gripped the metal bar tighter, he raised his other hand as if stopping him. He pulled out a small bag and tossed it to Gintoki, who caught it, a little surprised.

"So, how about you come and work for us, hmmm? We could use a man like you. Nothing much, just… scaring people. You know, the usual. The pay will be good, as I just showed you."

A grin appeared on Hiroto's face. Even if his words don't get an impact that he wanted, the money will do the job.

What happened next left him speechless. Gintoki eyed the money bag in his hand, and with a noncommittal shrug, tossed it on the ground in front of the yakuza.

"Sorry, but no. Did you really think I would say yes just because you waved some money in front of me? You think I don't know what you really want from me? Scaring innocent people, families… that's a job I'd decline any time of day. It's just not my way of living, you know. Anyway, good luck finding a scarecrow for your… organization. Now, I must be on my way. I'm a busy man."

Hiroto was taken aback. This never happened before. Usually, people would be all over money by now. Just who was this man? Was he a samurai? A true one, to booth? Well, he was not giving up, at least not for now. This man was too good to waste his skills on petty jobs. If he joined his gang, they could really be able to rise in the world of yakuza. An opportunity like this is never to be passed. He picked the money from the ground and approached the other man for the second time that day. He casually put the bag into samurai's hands.

"Keep the money. It's yours whether you decide to join or not. I must say, kid, this is the first time someone declined me. However, I'm a generous man. I'll give you one day to think about it. I'll drop by tomorrow at your… shelter. In the meantime, buy some clothes and food. I literally felt a chill when I saw you dressed like that. Also, we can't let you die because you haven't eaten anything, well, at least not until tomorrow. Ah, yes, I am also fond of green tea. Can't stand others. They make my head hurt. Well then, see ya tomorrow, samurai."

And with these words, he parted with Gintoki. The young man looked at the bag in his hands, confusion all over his face. When he finished processing everything that happened, he scratched his head in great annoyance.

"Why do people keep giving me things for free?"

**A/N:** Forgive me, for I really don't know where I'm going with this.


	3. Chapter 3

When Sakata Gintoki returned to his so called house later that day, he had to admit he was pleased with himself. He had a warm meal and found a blanket for tonight. There was also a pile of broken furniture in the back of the house, so he made a note to make at least a chair and a table tomorrow. For now he was content on eating on the floor and having a blanket. There were worse conditions he has been in.

He had to admit that all this wouldn't be possible without that bag of money he got. While he didn't want to take the money at first, it helped him greatly in the end. The only problem now was how to decline the offer that follows the gift. Gintoki was sure this guy believed he will accept offer, but, to tell the truth, the answer won't change even if the universe would be at stake. The ex-samurai knew perfectly what kind of job that would be; beating up people, destroying properties, taking people as hostages… And hurting people was something he swore to never do again. After all, that is one of the reasons he now had this metal bar, and not any kind of swords.

Putting these thoughts aside, he focused on the matters at hand. The house was far from appropriate for living in there, but he could slowly start making himself comfortable. A casual glance at the things he acquired today made up his mind and he decided to begin fixing this room by making it a bit warmer. Before he entered the house that day, he checked out the backyard. There was bound to be something else that could be useful. The search was a pleasant surprise; amongst the things he found, there was an old, worn out, hibachi. It was still in working order though, so he just assumed someone discarded it when they moved out. After cleaning it a little, he broke some of the wooden furniture that was unusable and put them in the metal box that goes into the brazier, otoshi. Realizing he needed at least some leaves to start the fire, he wandered around a bit, until he found a tree nearby. The leaves weren't dry, but they'd suffice for now. He took a handful and put them under the firewood. The cold was getting the better of him and soon Gintoki realized that he was so cold he kept dropping the matches. Taking couple of deep breaths, he forced his body to stop shaking and concentrated fully on the matches. A victorious shout escaped him when he finally managed to lit one. The fire quickly caught the leaves and soon the wood was burning steadily. It will take some time for it to burn to the stage where it would be fine for use.

While waiting for the fire to subside, Gintoki went and brought some wood inside. He also explored other rooms, trying to find something that would also be of good use to him. Some plates, a pot, couple of damaged cups and some curtains that were still usable were the only things that he could scavenge, for now.

"By this time, the fire should be ready", Gintoki murmured and went back to the hibachi.

The fire he has lit some time ago has turned into a nice pile of coals. The heat that radiated made him smile. He took the otoshi to put it into the small wooden hibachi. Except there was one thing he overlooked. The metal pot was hot. Very hot. The little self-control he managed to gather not to drop the pot lasted only until he reached the hibachi. He dropped it sooner than he anticipated, but thankfully it was now placed safely inside the fire pot from where it radiated the heat, completely unaware of young man's struggles.

"It seems the world hates me these days", he managed to say through clenched teeth, while cooling his hands in the snow. Still grumbling he took the hibachi and brought it into the room.

Soon though, Gintoki realized this won't do. The wind was starting to blow and there were so many holes in the walls that it didn't even make difference if he were staying inside, or just went and sit in the open. Still holding a grudge towards the fire because of his burnt fingers, he started putting the curtains around the holes, reasoning with himself that he will buy some nails tomorrow and close them for good. The job was boring and hard, since the cloth didn't really want to stay as he imagined it, but after half an hour he was satisfied with the results.

"Yes, this would do it."

The curtain that was put on the broken window detached itself. Gintoki stared at it for couple of moments, as if hoping it would reattach itself, and then swore loudly and spent another fifteen minutes trying to place it better.

When he was finally satisfied with his work and made sure all the holes won't be open till tomorrow, he sat down to rest. The dinner did him good, and he finally realized that his appetite is slowly returning. That was good news for his body; soon his strength will return to its fullest and he won't have to rely on his instincts and use his head to get away from trouble.

The sun has set a long time ago, and Gintoki was done with that day's chores. The only thing he could do now was go to sleep. Tomorrow is always a new day and something new will happen. He groaned in annoyance when he remembered there is only one thing he still hasn't thought about – the offer from that… what was his name again? Disregarding that information as unimportant, he focused at the problem at hand. They will be angry when he declines. No doubt whole gang will come, in case he declines and he needs to be erased. Of course, he never intended to make it easy for them. But, what he really wanted to think about was the most peaceful solution. Gintoki really didn't want to start a fight early in the morning. He didn't want to start a fight at all. While the universe constantly threw him into the worst imaginable situations that almost always required violence, it's not like he actually enjoyed it.

After realizing that he was staring at one spot in the wall for quite some time, he called it quits and prepared for sleep. He took his blanket and settled himself next to the hibachi, metal bar at the reach of his hand. He closed his eyes enjoying the warmth of the fire… only to be awoken by cold. Still half asleep, he realized the fire must have burnt out and he would have to start a new one. Grumbling under his breath, he went outside to gather more wood and was greeted by the sun shining high up in the sky. How long was he asleep? Well, in the end it didn't matter. He stretched himself and decided to just come inside for now.

His foot hit something soft. He slowly lowered his gaze at the ground and instantly regretted it. Whatever that was, it was big, furry, angry and aiming for his face. In an instant it found its way to his face and attacked him mercilessly. Caught by surprise, he tried to pry it from his face, but the creature just wouldn't let go. After couple of minutes of wrestling he managed to detach it and throw it in the snow.

It was a cat. Or at least he thought it was a cat. It was unusually big. Its back arched, tail high up, twice the size, and it was hissing at him. Their eyes locked, waiting for the other to make a first move. Gitnoki slowly lowered and made a snowball, never breaking eye contact. He threw it at the cat and hit it in the face. It quickly shook the snow off and looked at him, confusion all over its face. Soon, it gave up and made its way to the dumpsters.

Grinning in satisfaction, Gintoki went inside.

"Serves the cat right. Nobody messes with me. Wait, why do I have a feeling I forgot something…"

And then it came to him. He was supposed to find a cat to get rid of all the mice. Swearing loudly he went outside and looked around.

"No, wait! Come back! I'll give you some food!"

After unsuccessful search, he sighed and went back inside. Hoping another one will show up soon, he let out an audible sigh.

"I knew that would be too easy."

As if it was a response to his own words, he heard a meow on his right. There it was, the same cat, looking at him. He could even say the bastard was smirking at him. Not really good with animals, Gintoki just nodded awkwardly and addressed the cat.

"If you want, you can… err… look around and find a place to sleep."

The cat immediately started investigating the room, finally settling near the hole from where it heard the mice squeaking and running. Gintoki couldn't shake the feeling that this cat understood everything he said. It was still evading him and hissing every time he would come near it. Even bribing it with food didn't help their relationship. In the end he just gave up on the cat and let it go its own business. Gintoki sighed again in annoyance, scratching his head. It was a tick he could have never got rid of. Tatsuma, his comrade from war, often liked to imitate that tick during those evenings when the soldiers were relaxing. It often ended up catastrophic, because Gintoki would always catch him doing that.

A loud knock echoed throughout the room. Gintoki winced, remembering the company he should be expecting. The knocking continued and he finally approached the door, mentally bracing himself for what is to come.

He was not prepared for this sight. While he was expecting to see a bunch of gang members behind this guy, what he saw was the complete opposite. The guy came alone.

"Ah, I knew you'd be awake this early. Mind if I come in? It sure is cold outside."

"Err… suit yourself… um…"

"Haha! You really are something. You already forgot my name, mister samurai? It's Hiroto. Remember it now, because you'll hear it a lot in the future. Until you join me. Then you will call me Boss, as everyone else."

Gintoki was just looking at him. He had to admit he admired Hiroto's confidence that he will join the gang. Hiroto was now looking at the interior, not quite capable of hiding discomfort at being in a place like this. Instantly, the grimace disappeared and the usual grin was stuck on his face again.

"So, anyway, let's keep this short and sweet. Tell me, when will you join us?"

"No."

Hiroto's grin faded. A flash of anger spread over his face for an instant, but Gintoki caught it immediately and couldn't help but smirk. Hiroto sighed again and shook his head.

"I don't understand, mister samurai. I offer you money and power. All you have to do is work under me. It's an easy job for someone of your skill. You think someone will turn up and give you a job more… 'noble' than this one? Think about it again." Hiroto paused and smirked triumphantly. Then lowered his voice and the friendly tone disappeared from his voice. "I can make it so you never, ever get a job in this town."

Gintoki crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. Now they were talking truth. They finally arrived at the part where the "offer" becomes blackmail. The only problem was that he couldn't be blackmailed, for he had nothing to lose.

"That is fine by me. It's not like I am going to stay here long time. However, I would like my stay to be enjoyable. You know, without unwelcomed guests and such."

"Ah, of course! I see I overextended my welcome here. Don't worry, I shall take my leave now. It's a shame though. We could've guaranteed you protection too. Now it's all kind of a grey area." He opened the door and stopped for a second, turning around and looking Gintoki straight in the eyes. "After all, walls have ears and streets are dangerous these days. I shall mourn you, when the time comes."

"Please don't. It would be a really lame funeral."

"See ya soon, mister samurai. Please be careful, we wouldn't want you to have an accident in the streets."

And with these words, Hiroto left.

Knowing that he just attracted big enemies, Gintoki closed the door and addressed the situation for a moment. He had no job, knew no one in this town, and he will be a target on the streets starting today. Great.

There was a thud and a meow. The cat finally caught a mouse and was triumphantly walking towards the young man, showing off her prey. He lowered his hand to scratch it behind the ears, but only earned couple of scratches. Rubbing his hand he looked at it in great annoyance.

"Well, how about I just call you Rei, since you're such a well-behaved cat, hm?"

The cat ignored him, looking at the food. The man sighed and opened the package, shoving it to the cat.

"I think you do deserve something as a reward. Which means I am out of food now. Great. Sit here and eat, while I go and find breakfast. Or go. Whatever."

He made a mental shopping list for today. As he figured out, he will need some nails, wood planks, eventually a broom and some food. If he remembers anything else while shopping, that would be good. He tightened his clothes around him and made his way to the town. First stop will be new clothes, then a nice bath. All the thoughts of the unpleasant morning visit disappeared in favor of enjoyable afternoon.

**A/N: This chapter was a total pain! Ugh! It was supposed to be finished two days ago, but I just didn't have any ideas. In the end I just scrambled some stuff together and finished with it. The only downside is that I accidentally drifted away from my first plan. Being too lazy to correct myself (hell, I am even too lazy to edit this), I decided to go with the flow in this one, and return to my first thoughts in the next chapter. Honestly, why did I bring Hiroto in all this? He made my life a living hell. **

**Anyway, I know I probably made a mistake with the hibachi, but the research was even worse than writing this. Every time I would google it, I would get the American hibachi grill. Seriosly. It took me couple of tries to find what I need and even then I couldn't really understand how it's been used, so I had to depend on my imagination. I hope I did that one well. All in all, to explain: hibachi is some kind of brazier made of wood, metal or ceramic, that serves for cooking and to provide warmth in houses. It consists of two parts: the pot and the ash tray that goes inside it. They could also be carried around and were used by military, too. It sounds so comfy in my mind. The problem I encountered with it (the one which bugs me the most) is that it was also used only by middle class and upper class households. They could be really fancy, I found plenty of beautiful ones. Now I wish I had one.**

**Oh yeah, the cat's name will be Rei, which means "well-behaved". I think Gintoki would be that kind of guy who would name an animal ironically.**

**Seriously, the next chapter will be out quite sooner than this one, since I finally sat down and worked on the story plan. Yay for me! For someone who is a really lazy person, I did a lot of work on this story.**

**Oh yeah! Another thing! Holidays are coming, so I will probably have more time. That's it. Yell out. **


	4. Chapter 4

The next three weeks passed quickly. The weather wasn't very cold, just cold enough to remind people it's still winter. There was still snow on the ground, piling up from time to time, but almost immediately being swept away by the residents. The area, although at first looking grim and dangerous, turned out to be a simple place full of poor families. Kids were constantly reenacting gang wars though, starting snowball fights, which lasted until their parents would call them for meal time, or to stop yelling. All in all, it was a peaceful neighborhood, most of the time. They did get occasional visits from one particular gang – Hiroto's gang.

As Gintoki learnt soon enough after settling, Hiroto's gang controlled this part of the town. Everybody had to pay a fee in exchange for "protection". Oddly enough, they never bothered Gintoki. He was still uncertain of what their plan is. Did they think he was a big enough threat and decided to leave him alone, or were they planning some big retaliation? This question left an uneasy feeling that followed him around for some time. Although he was constantly on edge at first and kept his eyes open, as weeks passed, Gintoki relaxed more and more. The peace slowly cast a false sense of security over him.

Although he has been worrying about the gang, Gintoki had to admit, with a little pride, that he was quite productive. The holes in the walls were fixed, though not exactly when he planned, because he developed some procrastinating habits. Telling himself he had to recuperate before doing any hard work, he suddenly realized he didn't do anything for a week. That's when he finally fixed the holes. He also managed to make a table and a chair out of things he found in the backyard. As time passed and he tinkered around the house, he suddenly realized that this place felt like home. It wasn't much, that was for sure, but it made him feel like he belonged there.

He also got a bed. Actually it was just a futon, but he was happy that he had anything he could sleep on. It was placed next to the hibachi, which constantly had fire and was radiating heat. It was still enough cold that he knew the luxury of it burning off could be devastating.

His strength also returned. He didn't have a mirror, so he did occasional check-ups of his body by hand. He was very happy to notice that he couldn't feel his ribs anymore upon touching his sides, one quick look at the glass on one of the shops confirmed that the color returned to his face. However, what he couldn't get rid off were the black circles under his eyes. His sleeping pattern was messed up and he spent plenty of nights just laying there, being unable to fall asleep. He was also constantly tired. On those occasions when he could sleep, he did it for so long, he would actually wake up in the dark, realizing he missed a whole day of being productive. Being an optimist by heart, Gintoki hoped it will pass if he gave it some time. It's been a long time since he had this problem.

They were in the war and things were looking bad. With Tatsuma leaving, the mood among the troops dropped heavily. Sakamoto Tatsuma, master swordsman and the loud person of the famous Joui 4, was the one who kept them all in check. Cracking jokes, constantly laughing and overall keeping the mood up, he was the person who actually kept the rest of the gang together. The change in personalities of the Joui leaders led to the rest of the tropps fall into a miserable setting. This continued for two months. Constant bickering between Gintoki and his best friend, Takasugi Shinsuke, happened more and more often. Katsura, the fourth member of the Joui 4, tried his best to sttle the matters between these two peacefully, but in the end they would always find themselves with their swords drawn and soldiers holding them back so they won't hurt each other.

After two months they finally found him. The Amanto who belonged with the Tendoshu and who was responsible for the execution of their sensei, the only father figure Gintoki had in his life. The struggle didn't start on the roof of that building where the Amanto ambushed them during their rest, but Gintoki could say everything went downhill from there. They suffered their worst defeat ever by the hands of that Amanto. On that day, Takasugi lost his left eye. It was a great shock for the soldiers. Carried by the belief that their leaders were invincible, the little courage they had has vanished along with that eye. Gintoki spent days beside Takasugi's bed. He couldn't sleep, nor eat. All he could do was think how sorry he was. If they just weren't fighting so much and cooperated that one time, his friend wouldn't have been in this state now. _His friend could have died_. Another soul, another weight Gintoki could have carried.

After that event, they just suffered loss after loss. Gintoki was just numb. He couldn't feel anything; he was operating on autopilot. While Takasugi was slowly descending into madness and Katsura desperately trying to keep the troops together, Gitnoki spent his days between battles just walking around, or taking care of his swords. He sought to be alone. Didn't want to talk to anyone. Then one day he suddenly woke up from that madness. Standing on the battlefield, his white clothes now completely red from the blood, he was utterly alone. Only thing that could be heard was the rain falling on the corpses around him. That's when the revelation hit him – he couldn't stand this anymore, all this death and destruction. He has lost his cause. He decided to leave. Just like that, he disappeared, nowhere to be found. The stories of legendary Shiroyasha slowly died and now only people who participated in the war remembered him.

And that's how he ended up in a place like this. Always hiding and running away. It was much easier than fighting for a lost cause. It brought fewer casualties. Honor can be restored, life couldn't.

Gintoki stood up and stretched his arms. He still felt exhausted even though he hadn't done anything important today. He did manage to earn some money by helping people with house repairs, but sometimes he did it in exchange for a warm meal or clothing. Maybe it seemed like a rough life to a bystander, but for Gintoki, it was a good, honest, and peaceful life.

He scratched his cat behind its ears. Rei, a big smart cat which he welcomed when he moved in, decided the man was good enough to take care of him so their bond became a little tighter. A scratch behind the ears and a meal in exchange for a dead mouse.

"What a lovely relationship", thought Gintoki while chuckling.

He yawned. Maybe it was time to sleep for now and work can wait until tomorrow. He went to his futon and covered himself preparing to sleep. Tomorrow he'll ask that old man who was complaining about his windows not being sealed very good if he could fix them in exchange for a warm meal. Ramen would probably be nice to have. He hadn't had ramen in ages. A smile appeared on his face. The only thing that could ruin his mood right now is rain, and he could hear the soft sound of it while hitting the roof. That is a huge letdown. He is going to be soaking wet tomorrow. He could already feel the cold water on his shoulder. Standing in the middle of the street he felt the drops falling on him. Annoyed, he put a hand on his shoulder to check how much wet it is and if he should just go back and change his clothes.

But when he removed his hand he noticed that something was wrong. There was something red on his palm. Casting a glance on his robes, a look of horror appeared on his face as he realized that it wasn't the rain that was falling. It was blood. He took a step backwards, but his feet hit something heavy and he fell. As he looked at his right, his eyes met the cold gaze of a dead body, sneering at him.

"Was my death satisfying to you, Shiroyasha?" The corpse whispered, while gripping his hand tightly.

Gintoki jumped from his bead. He was trembling and breathing heavily. Trying to calm down he looked at his surroundings. It was just a dream. He was back in his room, on his bed. His shoulder was wet, though. Praying that it wasn't blood, still having not regained the sense of reality, he prayed to heavens to not let it be blood. Closing his eyes he touched his shoulder. When he opened his eyes, a loud sigh of relief escaped him when he saw only water. It was then that he finally heard the water dropping in a slow rhythm from the ceiling on the spot he used to sleep. Cursing loudly, he moved his futon away from that spot to somewhere dry. He tried to go back to sleep, but soon found out he couldn't stop shaking. The memory of the dream was still vivid and every time he closed his eyes he saw that image of blood over and over again. He put his palms on his eyes and pressed hard against them, willing the images to go away. After the failed attempt he realized that sleep was not an option.

He stood up and grabbed a hammer. At least fixing the roof will preoccupy his mind.

He greeted the sun at the roof, soaking wet from rain, no work done.

**A/N: I am so sorry for the delay. I kinda lost all my notes for this fic so had to start from the scratch. That is no excuse. I am a terrible person.  
I would also take this opportunity to thank NientedeNada for giving me a very good tip for editing and writing that made me actually love this chapter for a change.  
I'd also like to thank SNK anime for providing me with great nightmare fuel which was an inspiration for the dream.**

**That is all. Yell out.**


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